7 Things Animation Failed to Teach Me
Hello there, long lost blog. Oh, how I have neglected you lately. There have been far too many times over the past few months when I’ve watched an animated film, television show, special or had something in my life happen that made me think, “hmmm…I should blog about that.” Well, here we are with a late-night story time because I’ve got approximately one hour to kill before Jimmy Fallon starts, and I really need to get some of the thoughts out of my brain space and into the cyber space.
“Superb intro-slash-disclaimer, Emily.”
“Thanks, self.”
Onward!
Since June, I have become a resident of the lovely state of Florida. Among the many new sights, sounds, smells and other elements, perhaps the most obvious difference from my Upstate New York upbringing is the heat. And while I thought I was prepared for the challenges of the Sunshine State during the summer with sunscreen, fans, air conditioning, water and more, something I was not prepared for was having the tire pressure light come on in my two-month old car (who is named Spock, for those who are curious).
This may not seem like a big deal whatsoever to those of you who have experienced this before. Unfortunately for me, I had no idea how to check the tire pressure, where to go to adjust it and how to do so. It took me three separate visits and the assistance of a very patient gas station attendant to alleviate the issue.
And you know what? I blame animation. That’s right! I blame animated films, shows, shorts and specials for not illustrating this simple yet necessary task that I would inevitably face one day. Sounds crazy? Well, given the trend of “edutainment” in animation that all 90’s kids and later have experienced, I think it’s fair to wonder why such life lessons aren’t covered along with counting, the ABC’s, basic math, colors, sharing, spelling and the myriad of other tools provided to children in animation (Spongebob even teaches us how to tie our shoes for goodness’ sake).
So now without further adieu, I present to you a list of life lessons animation failed to teach me:
- How to check and the air pressure in car tires — see above “adult struggles.”
- How to click the little switch on the gas nozzle that makes it fill automatically — this is something else I learned from the kind Speedway attendant.
- How to change a tire — okay, maybe there’s a slight trend to the car theme, and there are definitely YouTube videos and websites that will help me to do this, but I would enjoy it so much more and not live in terror of getting a flat tire if a cute little anthropomorphic bunny would just show me what to do.
- How to iron clothes — I’m 23 years old and I still rely on steam from the shower and/or my hair straightener to get the job done because I always seem to burn myself and sometimes the clothes when an actual iron gets involved (I’m also thinking this was a missed opportunity in the seminal forgotten classic, “The Brave Little Toaster).
- How to walk in heels — Tyra Banks has definitely covered this on “America’s Next Top Model,” but again, it would’ve stuck much better had it been to an uptempo xylophone jingle playing to a CG version of Tyra.
- Taxes — and really anything adult-financial-needs related. There’s not too many ways that I can imagine making this fun, but I’d still love to see the likes of Glen Keane try.
- Establish a regular blogging schedule — Ah, yes, we reach the truest obstacle that I face, and hopefully the one that I can conquer sans animated short (although I do want to pitch the concept of “Writers Block” to Disney if they don’t have anything slated to play before “Moana” just yet). But this is a goal I have for myself starting now, to blog once a week, and I plan on sticking to it!